So besides being stalked by Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie indeed) I have witnessed a plethura of only in Babylon like moments.There was Jennifer Lopez and her Vulcan looking husband Marc Anthony auditioning hospitals for when she was to give birth to their demon spawn,Britney's paparazzi boy toy Adnan punching one of his own for (gasp) taking his picture,Bai Ling (I'm sure she's a celebrity somewhere) shoplifting batteries and magazines at LAX,the fat guy from Borat in the same underground parking garage (and driving a Mercedes...life is good) and Kyle McLaughlin at Starbucks who got a thumbs up from yours truly when I told him that being on Twin Peaks might have made up for him being on Sex In The City and him replying "sometimes you gotta pay the mortgage" Freakin' sweet! Now comes the twenty question portion of today's episode (and not in any order)
why are women obsessed with making sure they have someone to kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve?
when did going out in public in sweats and unbrushed hair become an acceptable form of appearance?
OK that was really only two questions,but this is my blog so I will do whatever the fuck I want to do. I have a few observations that need to be addressed before we can part company for the day (again not in any order)
1) women over the age of 60 shouldn't wear black lipstick
2) 50 year old men shouldn't wear leather pants
3) everybody wants something:I want to sit in Starbucks all day and write poems for a living,the old ladies want a free newspaper so they steal them Starbucks (here's 50 cents bitch...knock your self out) the Greenpeace fuckos that hover outside don't want to talk about the environment,they want to talk about how much money you're willing to give their psycho cause (maybe if the Greenpeace whores didn't smoke their cigarettes right in front of the no smoking sign then they might have more credibility...they ain't no better than the freaking Scientologists)
4) PETA is a great cause but its members are assholes
5) and this is the most important...LARRY THE CABLE GUY MOVIES NEED TO STOP...he's not funny..not even a little bit...suck on that Foxworthy!
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kyle's real name is orson hodge, he is a dentist, lives on wisteria lane, and is married to that red headed overly-botoxed bree-bitch-van de camp-hodge. do i sound bitter? i wanted him for myself. its the dentist thing. so sexy.
so whats this? more stalkers? you do seem to attract your share of them...obsessive freaks! :)
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