Only Whores Like Sex In the City

If you're not sure if you are in a dive bar,here are a few simple essentials to confirm if you are or not.

It's a dive if:

-you can get PBR in can
-the bar opens before McDonald's stops serving breakfast
-the only food is popcorn and hot dogs
-someone gets shot
-the wallpaper of the bar is made of a velvety substance
-the doorman is drinking
-the bathroom is dirty
-the jukebox has cds not the internet and the jukebox has both Ryan and Bryan Adams
-someone has passed out on the bar
-the bar's well tequila has to get scraped off your tongue by a shot of Jager
-there is an old man or woman missing teeth

It's not a dive if:

-they offer low carb beer
-they DON'T have PBR or Coors Light
-there's a DJ
-the bar is well lit
-can't hook up with the bartender